Dogbert: barking up the wrong tree

It takes a lot of balls for someone like the Mayor of London to say:

Decades of British and American intervention in the oil-rich Middle East motivated the London bombers … Instead, they had often supported unsavoury governments in the region…”We’ve propped up unsavoury governments, we’ve overthrown ones we didn’t consider sympathetic.” [Source]

And to say that right after the London bombings? That’s like committing political harakiri. I would only expect someone like Chomsky or George Galloway to say stuff like that.

But way to go Livingstone for calling a spade a spade.

Today marked the culmination of a tedious two-month process quite innocuously called “Transfer of Residence”. As I straightened out the two 1KD bills and inserted them into the vending machine, all I could think of was the hell I have gone through the last couple of months to get this little piece of plastic.

It all started with my decision to accept a government sector job. After all, my boss was a teaching professor (no micro-management), the pay was great and the 8-2 timings ensured that I could give more time to my “extra-curricular” activities. I was told that this particular government institution could not afford to waste a ‘mandub’ (ministry liaison) on me so I would have to do all the Ministry-related work myself. “Mafi Mushkila” I say to myself as I exercise my Arabic vocabulary. It shouldn’t be a problem because time is on my side and my Arabic consists of more words than just the ubiquitous ‘salami lakem’ and ‘in shala’ (I’ve seen way too many Westerners [ab]use these phrases).

So with much gusto I started the “ta7weel” (transfer) process. My enthusiasm was short-lived though, because I was asked to run from pillar to post to get things done. The worse part was the medical tests though. I’ve lost count of the number of times I must have gone to the ‘Majlis At Tibb’ (Medical Council) to get an array of tests done. As if poking me with a needle wasn’t enough, the blood-sucking (and I use this term loosely) ‘nurse’ was fishing around with the syringe in my arm like she was trying to put a worm onto a hook. This resulted in blood being spilled all into my internals and I had a nasty bruise on my arm for about a month! The most baffling part is that less than 2 months prior I was applying for my first work-visa and I had just got the exact same tests done. Surely the Ministry of Health has a file on me saying that I don’t have TB, don’t carry any STDs and my blood sugar is normal. But they don’t care, we’re Ex-pats (best read with a rapid “spitting like” gesture). After all .. who cares about them ‘Ex-pats’.

Coming in a close second for “10 Worse Nightmares to Endure for an Iqama” was the bureaucrats. Ah.. where would this lovely country be without them. Now I know every place has its share of paper-pushers, but the Kuwaiti bunch take the prize. I had to arise at insane hours just to make it in time to be 150th in the queue (really, do people camp overnight at the Ministry of Social Affairs in Sharq?) I am desperately trying to forget the terrible encounters I had with the apathetic jerks at the ‘shuoons’ but this one I think will take me a lifetime to forget: I was trying to get something done at the Ministry of Employment in Farwaniya. I noticed that most of the employees there were ladies and I thought to myself “Ok.. they’re ladies, they’re going to be nice to me”. I was in for a rude awakening. Having being sent from one of the ‘Mudeera’(departmental head) to the wrong place, I returned to her only to find out that she wasn’t there and someone seated in her place. I politely explained my situation to this new female and she told me in no uncertain terms to ‘F*** off’. So I switched gears and asked her to guide me to the person previously sitting in her desk. The reply is “Look around for her. She is here somewhere.”. Well, I would have done that in the first place except that literally every woman in this place is wearing a niqab (face covering)! Am I supposed to look under each niqab? The ridiculousness of her suggestion amused me.

Another thing that annoyed me no end was being referred to by my country of citizenship rather than name. “Wayn hadhal Elbonee?” was a common question if someone was trying to refer to me. Is “Dogbert” that hard to say?

Add to this the 50+ Celsius heat, the barrage of verbal insults if I got one of the myriad of processes slightly incorrect and the general feelings of racial disdain just because I happen to be from Elbonia and you will understand why I was more than a little miffed.

So you can imagine my tears of joy as in went my 2KD and out popped the CivilID at the PACI. After the hell that I went through, the CivilID process was anticlimactic. Just choose the renew option at PACI’s website and go over to pickup your card. No human intervention necessary. How boring.

The reaction to the London bombings has been markedly different to the reaction after 9/11 in the US from a lot of perspectives. Granted the two incidents don’t measure up when you measure body count, but you can draw up some comparisons between the two because the terrorizing effect it has had on the populace is largely the same. Here are some of my observations:

1. The Muslim community under the banner of Muslim Council of Britain has been very vocal and unanimous in condemning the blasts. Under the leadership of Sir Iqbal Sacranie, they have come together on a united platform to speak out against the deplorable events of 7/7.

A joint statement of condemnation came as 22 leaders and scholars met at the Islamic Cultural Centre, in London. [Article]

What’s more impressive than the unanimous statement is the fact that it has received great media attention.

In contrast to this, the response to 9/11 by Islamic leaders in the US was slow in coming and there was no single decisive statement delivered to the world wide audience. This is not to say that clerics and scholars based in the US did not condemn 9/11. It’s just that they didn’t do it in the same public and unequivocal fashion as their British counterparts.

2. The response by the Blair government has been much more acceptable than the knee-jerk reaction of the Bush government (in response to their respective “9/11”s). Compared to the belligerent ‘smoke-em-out’ attitude of the US in the aftermath to 9/11, the British response has been more tempered and logical.

Here are two quotes:

“We must be clear about how we win this struggle. We should take what security measures we can. But let us not kid ourselves. In the end, it is by the power of argument, debate, true religious faith and true legitimate politics that we will defeat this threat. ” [Source]

“Those who make war against the United States have chosen their own destruction.” [Source]

I’ll leave it to you to figure out who said what. Now I’m no big fan of Blair, but it seems that at least outwardly he has been saying the right things.

3. The response of the media to the incidents were also different. After 9/11 it seemed that all the American channels were playing to the same tune and there was no worthwhile questioning or introspection. It was not uncommon to see the same series of ‘themes’ plastered across each news channel. Sometimes I wondered how they all managed to get even the same catchy phrases (‘American Under Attack’, ‘America Responds’ etc.).

In contrast to this, the British media has given adequate coverage to all aspects of the bombings. From reporting the actual incident to giving coverage to the MCB’s condemnation of the blasts, the BBC has done a reasonable job. Also, the sense of perspective has not been lost. Today, barely a week after the blasts, the top story on the BBC website is not some rehash of the 7/7 outrage. Yes, the headline does mention over 70 people being killed. But they’re not talking about London, they’re speaking of Iraq .

I do hope the Brits use the lessons learned from this horrific day to their advantage. In the best case scenario, the authorities would understand why more and more British youth are getting alienated and driven to these extremes and do something to ameliorate the situation, the government would move beyond talk and try to tackle this menace from all angles (including making some difficult foreign policy decisions) and, foremost, the Muslim community will be successful in convincing the public that these acts were antithetical to Islam and educate it’s youth to the true teachings of the religion.